As a mother, they say that is job from they day they are first born that your job is to prepare them to leave. When they're little they are so dependent on you, so much so it can be overwhelming. I remember after Dalton was born just feeling so scared and thinking. "Why did God give me a baby? I can barely care for myself, let alone this little one." In fact, I'm one of those people who have a thousand great ideas a day, but I don't always have the umph to follow through. In the back of my mind was always the fear of what happens if I wake one day and decide this isn't what I want. (Typical thoughts of a child of a broken family). As a Christian woman I vowed to be the best mother I can be. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I've pour out everything I have to my family. But something happens to kids; they do grow up.. Suddenly the little boy who wouldn't leave my side is embarrassed to be with me, and the little girl who wouldn't get out of my sight is sneaking into her bedroom for a giggly gossip phone chat with her latest BFF.
I know that if I've done my job as a mother right, then I know that they'll make the right choices. As much as I want them to need me, I know that they need to be self - sufficient. Because of my CP, my kids have learned that there are simply some thing Mama can't do, so they've to sort step up to the plate and fend for themselves. My kids are now 14 and 11, they still need me, just in another capacity. No one can love them like I can. No one can pray for them like I can. We're just a few years away from them want to hang out Friday night at ball games with friend instead of pizza and a movie with Mama. While I may not always be happy with their decisions, I want them to know Mama will always be here at the end of the day.
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