Made To Crave Blog Hop: Desires

I must admit, I've fallen behind in my reading of Made to Crave this week.  The Barrett house hold is undergoing some major changes this week.  We've been rearranging bedrooms.  Because I snore and cough so much at night, Barrett wasn't sleeping.  Dalton-who just got a new bedroom about 2 years ago, got in trouble last week as punishment lost his room.  So Barrett took Dalton's  old room for he's office/bedroom, Bobbye Sue moved into  Barrett's office (she'd been in her room since she was born and wanted a change, and Dalton got Bobbye Sue's old room.  Confusing right???  I'm the big winner here; I get too keep the big master bedroom!

As Dalton would say; I've been a glass case of emotions this week.  On one hand I'm kinda excited to be getting my "OWN" room, but on the other hand I feel guilty because I can no longer share a room with my husband.  You have these expectations that a married couple always sleeps in the same room.  But as I've been researching on the web and having separate bedrooms for couples is not too uncommon, in fact it's even termed a "sleep divorce".  I know that God can use this for good if I let him.

Cravings are a strange thing.  It's our mind tricking us into thinking we desperately tricking us into thinking we NEED  something,  In reality, all we truly NEED is God,  If we live and depend on him, He'll supply everything.  I have been called to be a wife and mother, where I lay my head at night shouldn't matter.  Yes, my desire is to be for my husband, but when that desire is stronger than my desire for God, I have a problem.  And truth be told, I have often let my desires for Barrett become stronger than my desire for God.  I get caught up in the fact that Barrett is physically here with me; I can see and touch him.  Sometimes I don't like is with me - But there is go relying on my feelings again.  James 4:8 says; "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."  I must allow my cravings to come from God and not earthly desires.

I MUST DECEASE SO THEY CAN INCREASE

     As a mother, they say that is job from they day they are first born that your job is to prepare them to leave.  When they're little they are so dependent on you, so much so it can be overwhelming.  I remember after Dalton was born just feeling so scared and thinking.  "Why did God give me a baby?  I can barely care for myself, let alone this little one." In fact, I'm one of those people who have a thousand  great ideas a day, but I don't always have the umph to follow through.  In the back of my mind was always the fear of what happens if I wake one day and decide this isn't what I want.  (Typical thoughts of a child of a broken family).  As a Christian woman I vowed to be the best mother I can be.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I've pour out everything I have to my family.  But something happens to kids; they do grow up..  Suddenly the little boy who wouldn't leave my side is embarrassed to be with me,  and the little girl who wouldn't get out of my sight is sneaking into her bedroom for a giggly gossip phone chat with her latest BFF.
      I know that if I've done my job as a mother right, then I know that they'll make the right choices.  As much as I want them to need me,  I know that they need to be self - sufficient.  Because of my CP, my kids have learned that there are simply some thing Mama can't do, so they've to sort step up to the plate and fend for themselves.  My kids are now 14 and 11,  they still need me, just in another capacity.  No one can love them like I can.  No one can pray for them like I can.  We're just a few years away from them want to hang out Friday night at ball games with friend instead of pizza and a movie with Mama.  While I may not always be happy with their decisions, I want them to know Mama will always be here at the end of the day.

WHAT GODLY MEANS TO THE CRIPPLED MAMA

     Yesterday, I said that my word for the year is GODLY.  Uhm, I probably need to define this both for my readers and myself.  According to www.thefreedictionary.com,  godly is defined as 1) have a great reverence for God; pious and 2) divine.  Now before I start, let me assure you I'm no where close to God, nor do I claim to be.  Our pastor tells us that God is like a blacksmith and that He pounds on metal and burns it in fire until it has no flaws in it and all He can see is His own reflection.  I believe our ultimate goal in this life is to be like Jesus.  Yes, he created us all as unique individuals, but we are to love and treat others as He does.  
       While the bible is full or examples of godly women, there are two that I have chosen to model my life after: The Proverb 31 and the Titus 2 Woman.  I know both these characters sparks different reactions to different people  When I look at these two women I see who God wants me to be.  These women, especially the Proverbs 31 woman can be VERY CONTROVERSIAL.  And yes, if you just look at them with human eyes, there's no way you can stand up to that.  But if you let God guide you, you can do anything!  I'm never gonna be the perfect wife or mother, most of the time I can't even qualify as a good one.  But I have hope that if I keep trusting God that I can be the wife to Bryan and the mama to Dalton and Bobbye Sue that He me to be.